Given the film is about stripping, the premiere was always going to attract a certain "element" (Peter Andre, Lauren Goodger, Michelle Heaton, Jessica Wright, this yoke…)

Funnily enough, however, it wasn't the invited guests who were whipping it out, although Roxanne Pallett clearly wanted to show some gusset, while the Daily Mail attempted to write an entire article based on Brooke Vincent's barely evident side boob.

Nay, had the Daily Mail picked up on the line of strippers bollock naked (literally. So much so, I must warn you this photo is NSFW. This is presumably Matthew McConaughey's face after the show), that would've been something to write home about.

Anyway, they didn't - largely because exposed scrotes aren't exactly newsworthy, whereas a slightly less wrinkled gland, the common boob, always is. Even Louie Spence knows what side his bread is buttered on.

P.S. As if you've not had enough horror to deal with, it looks like America doesn't want Perez Hilton back. His appearance at the Katy Perry premiere could be marginally explained, but this?