Don't these people know that today is for eating everything that you didn't eat yesterday but between two slices of bread this time?

A moment of silence please for everyone working in retail today. Also, we should point out that today it's 100% legal* to take the knees out of anyone you see who is rude to someone working in retail for St. Stephen was the patron saint of karma for tyranical consumerist monsters*.

Seriously though, just look at this nonsense. This can not be a fun way to spend a day off. Especially a day when you're bloated and probably hungover. Unless you're using it as an escape from terrible family members in which case we'll allow it (until the pubs open).

We've no sense yet of how much money will be spent today, but over in the UK Selfridge's have released some facts and figures from their sale today with a whopping £2 million being spent in the first hour in store.

Notions. Absolute notions.

*A census of soundness 2015