It's true. He emitted the revelation on air tonight (yet another krayzee Friday night for meee. In some not so subdued news; according to the Louthish weatherman, there was a "mini tornado in Louth!") that he's due to depart at the end of the season. Pat the plank/highly functioning droid has been fronting our national talk show for almost ten years, but now - under the advice of "his family" - he's heading off to do what he does best... host a current affairs show. We could be the epitome of modesty and not mention this rant, but we'd all like to think we played our part *sniffs*. Indeed, we reckon the backlash over the Pete Doherty "interview", coupled with a show from a few weeks back when he had to ask ladies in the audience about their collagen enhanced nether regions, probably propelled poor Pat over the edge.

So, this leads to the burning question of 'who in the name of Jaysis is next?!' The obvious choice is Tub "I ain't takin' no pay cut!!!... until pressurised, that is" ridy. But who thereafter?  Gerry "money's everything to me and I'm only slobbering all over the bit to be on the telly full time" RyanMiriam "I keep two of me nippers harnessed under me basque, the rest are kept in a drawer" O'Callaghan; Podge and/or Rodge (never going to happen); or... Luuuucy Kennedy (c'mon, she was given her own show in the first place; ANYTHING is possible *shudders*. In saying that, however, I'd take her over a Seoige or Blathnaid any day)

Here's who I'm championing: Tubridy (shoot me, but he REALLY wants it - bless him); Dara O'Briain (they couldn't match his BBC wages... if they can, we're being shafted from an acute angle) Daithi O'Shea; Katherine Lynch (only in character, mind); oooooh... and that's about it. Personally I'd love John Kelly (because I love him) to have a whirdle, but he's too niche/looks like Yoda's lither cousin to pander to the populace.

Ideally, it'd be Mike Murphy first, followed by either Ronan Collins or Derek Davis... Unfortunately the likes of Twink (who can go and sh*te) are more viable. Aidan Cooney could be spectacular (if he learns not to squint at an autocue); Aidan Power's too young; Baz Ashmawy will never be ready. GAWD, is it the Byram?! We could do worse, I tell you... What's Laura Woods up to these days? In fact she, or the Morahan could take over Tubridy's slot... *GASPS* There's SO much to organise! *dashes off into the mist*