Paris's generosity just knows no bounds. Nay, she hasn't actually booked that flight to Uganda yet, instead she's just, you know, helping out the animals. It was reported last week that some university scientist somewhere found subjecting male mice to pictures of the simpHilton made them stop licking their injection wounds, leaving the seriously under-worked scientists to deduce that looking at pictures of Paris numbed their pain, in some way. It also might interest you to hear the Paris pictures had no effect on the lady mice. But enough of the mice, I bet you'd prefer to hear of her exploits with inebriated elephants. In India, elephants are wiling away the hours by horsing into rice beer and then going on the rampage. Activists have, for some reason, chosen Paris as the spokesperson for this plight - "The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them. Last month, six wild elephants that broke into a farm in the state of Meghalaya were electrocuted after drinking the potent brew and then uprooting an electricity pole. There would have been more casualties if the villagers hadn't chased them away. And four elephants died in a similar way three years ago. It is just so sad." I'm not sure where to start - are people actually giving these elephants beer, or are they commandeering their own by force? How did Paris pronounce Meghalaya? Is this possibly the most bizarre piece I've ever commented on? Usually I would say yes, but I've just read this thing about Jack Dee which is brain-bubbling...
