Not just any ole cheese - cheese from a can... Cheese... from a can. I don't know any cheese that comes fro a can... the only thing springing to mind is 'Easy Squeezy Peasy Cheese' off The Fast Show. "Brilliant."

Anyway, the story goes thusly: Gwyneth Paltrow shocked the audience at the iTunes festival by revealing that she would "rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can." The 38-year-old was discussing her cookery book at the Roundhouse Studios in London for the festival on Tuesday when she admitted her children, Apple, seven, and Moses, five, were banned from McDonald's. She said: "I take them to Pizza Express because I think that is much healthier. Don't tell them there are toys!"

Mrs. Coldplay, who said she can eat any man under a table, also revealed she always drinks while creating her dishes. According to British newspaper the Daily Mirror, Paltrow added: "I drink constantly while I'm cooking. Wine, either colour."

That explains it. Her children are banned from McDonalds cause she's so constantly hammered she once mistook a sweaty double cheese burger for a can of squeezy cheese... Unless she knows something we don't about the origins of McDonalds cheese slices... To Pizza Express! *stampedes*