Welcome to the first film awards of the year, ladies and gentle readers, the really well known Palm Springs International Film Awards, which may or may not have been sponsored by Cartier. But Mercedes-Benz were definitely involved.

Luminaries in attendance included Jeff Bridges and his missus; Anna Kendrick who stars in the hotly tipped Up In The Air;Eva La Rue of CSI Miami and, eh, All My Children fame; Oscar winner Marion Cotillard who recently starred in Nine and was at the receiving end of the odd hawk-eyed stare (calm yourself, love, it's a bag. No need to lay a bottle of water in shock);Helen Mirrenwho I want to be when I grow up (however, I would also settle on being this lady. Foxy); Jason Reitman and Michelle Lee; Diablo 'I just can't find a hairdo to suit me... and as for this body art, yikes' Cody; Mark Boal; Clint Eastwood; Morgan Freeman; Quentin Taratino sans a few pounds; some subtle eyeware; and Stumpy McSparkles in a wig. Oh, and a lady depicting herself as an oceanic backdrop to her bag. That or she's attempted to model herself on the fish itself, creating some kind of schole of two... Ooorrr, is she being a dragged up cockatoo to her multicoloured trout creating a moving island paradise dipped in acid?

All other suggestions welcome.