Join the queue, Gallagher.

Noel, who doesn't talk about anything apart fromX Factor these days (I think he's trying to show off to his 11-year-old daughter how many times he can get into the press by mentioning it. Or he's just simply trying to sell more of his new shoe range), had this to say about judging veteran, Mr. Walsh:

"He's insane. That's why they should bring it out in 3D, The X Factor, so you could literally lean into the television and just press on his throat a little bit... I called them right coming out of the judge's houses, called them all right, and I got them all right on Saturday night apart from the soldier (Jonjo Kerr) that went home. I thought he might stay and that other lunatic in the tin foil hat (presumably Johnny Robinson)... But, you see, Louis Walsh, he's mad as a box of frogs isn’t he? He lives in a parallel universe."

A universe where you can lean into a 3D TV and throttle Louis Walsh? A universe where judging panels are assigned different character traits - Walsh quite clearly being encouraged to be as irritating as possible - as that makes for good panto TV? Why, he's not insane, he's a puppet being ordered to keep in the acts who generate the most column inches *twirls*

Although Noel already knows that. If he actually talked about his new trainer range, would he grab anyone's attention? Going on a radio show to address strangling Louis Walsh a little bit though, everyone can relate to that.

Noel, my fine man, where can I purchase these runners of yours?