There is but one page of photos from last night's NME Awards available from WENN this morning which, as award photos go, is fairly paltry. It's not as if people didn't turn up, no, it's just a bit flat, is all.
So who do we have. Agyness Deyn and Henry Holland pretending they're rock 'n roll. I'm afraid no amount of purposeful squinting can will that. Take it from Jo Whiley. She's really set herself a challenge this year, not only is she willing herself to be rock 'n roll, she's also wishing her way out of this ill-advised Vegas pool side ensemble to the point of fitting. Fearne Cotton looks cute, pour le change; Ke$ha still looks unwashed, this does NOTHING for Victoria Heckseth's little boobs; La Roux in Debbie Gibson mode; while - thankfully - Courtney Love struggled to show us her goods, before giving up. She could actually learn a thing or two from Lily Allen: sashay up; disrobe in one bull fighting swoop; hike up whatever it is your wearing; and SPLAY! Only Allen could celebrate the crap out of a sack.
In the male corner, we've got a Courteener with a nasty gash on his honk; the two dudes from Muse; half of The Specials taking themselves fiercely seriously; Mark Ronson also willing himself to be Rock n' Roll; according to WENN this undead pair answer to "Guest and Pam Hogg" (poor Booooby); and then there was the unlikely combination of Emma Bunton's fellah busting some crotch appreciation moves with Keith Lemon. There was even the Irish contingent. Brilliant.
Yet there's still something missing. What is it... Effy from Skins, Carl from Shameless.... no, no. It's missing someone who always turns up to these things, but isn't utterly useless... OK, Jamie Winstone was ever present so it's not her... it's not the Geldof's 'cause they're busy pretending to be fashionable at Landan fashion week.... PIXIELOTT! OK, so she's more BRIT than NME but that hasn't stopped her from showing up to nearly EVERY red carpet event going for the last six months. I hope she's OK. She probably forgot how to get out of her house again.