It's safe to say the Nine juggernaut is in full throttle at the minute, for last night was the New York Premiere - and, boy, did it pale in comparison to the soiree in London last week.

Firstly, the celeb count was higher. There was the delectable Melania Trump, who was of course asked to pose sans her man-sized wallet. He did, however, manage to get a look in towards the end. There was Naomi Watts; Kimora Lee Simons and her fellah Djimon Hounsou; while a large pair of bags brought along Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen (honestly, on this occasion I can't tell which one's which. The one on the right looks a wee bit more wrecked, and aroused, so we'll call her Mary Kate). Even the New York Post's veteran gossip columnist, Cindy Adams, rolled her bones out to, somehow, not clash with the carpet. Maybe she hoped to blend in with it so she could covertly spy up the stars skirts (she cocked things up with the bag though, it completely gives her away). To think, I could one day grow up to be her - part wizened ole hack, part red carpet... *sighs*

Moving on to the rest of the celebs - there was a bit of a mother/daughter theme evident. Madonna turned up with Lourdes (and someone else). Me thinks someone was ordered to don flats for the evening, so Mommy could be the statuesque one. And isn't is nice to see Mommy in a dress for a change?! Although, we're not sure what's going on with the skirt... Could it... Is it transparent? Or is that just a shine. Judging by Lola's face, Mommy could very well be displaying her suspenders.

One of the film's stars, Stacey Ferguson, brought her mum, Terri. They look close, so it's surprising Fergie didn't impart red carpet rule numero uno - if you're wearing black, maybe give the white bra a miss. Judi Dench invited her daughter, Finty Williams, along, and - of course - there was the crème de la crème of mother/daughter couplings. Kate Hudson and Goldie Hawn.

Cast members who managed to walk the carpet without the support of a family member included the luscious Penelope Cruz; Marion Cotillard; a shifty looking Daniel Day-Lewis  (no, really, what is he up to?) and one Nicole Kidman. Sophia Loren couldn't attend but did appear via video link when Larry King's white suspenders herded the entire cast into his studio for an interview earlier on that afternoon (don't Day-Lewis and Dench look cosy). The less said about Sophia's makeup, the better. One can't ignore Nicole Kidman's, however, for it is a pain I know only too well being the colour of a frozen milk bottle that was previous mixed with just a hint of blue food dye for some mysterious reason. More makeup does not give you an all over coverage under flashlights, nay, it just highlights those areas you've gone a bit crazy over - namely nose, and those perennial dark circles. Considering most makeup artists now use fancy concealers with light reflecting pigments so it doesn't look like you've plunged your face into vat of white emulsion and then a bucket of talc, I'm guessing Nicole gave herself a quick going over in the jacks with some Mac Studio Fix. If not, fire the makeup person as of immediately.

Moving seamlessly on to another theme of the evening, looooooong dresses. Not many, but more than usual for a premiere (it's not the Oscars, ya know). Penelope's was rather lengthy, as was Judi's. Marion got it right, while Goldie's dress took the piss. Fergie went mental and had a train, while Kate apparently wanted the best of both worlds. I wasn't sure what it was at first. A shadow? A rogue bit of material that statically attached itself en route from the cloakroom? A cape?! A TAIL?! Then, the confirmation made itself available. Kate Hudson's dress had in fact sprouted a tail unbeknownst to her. It had to be without her knowledge, she wouldn't actually buy it like that. Would she?