With all the talent in attendance at last night's National Movie Awards held in London's Royal Festival Hall, anyone would think they served a purpose. Is another glitzy soiree, on which an unprecedented amount of money is spent, celebrating those who've all ready been lauded a countless times before really needed? And what makes them 'National' exactly? Is it becase all the winners are voted entirely by the British public? And how do they do that - by calling a premium rate number?
Pointlessness aside; the likes of Meryl Streep, Nicole Kidman, Maria Bello and Samuel L Jackson turned up. Emma Watson also ambled up the red carpet, but she's required to be there considering she's English... which would explain why she looks entirely done with the whole charade.
Here is a less than extensive list of the winners. Do avert your eyes if you're planning on watching them tonight (8.00pm, UTV) - otherwise the whole proceedings will reach a new realm of inanity.
BEST SUPERHERO: The Dark Knight
BEST MUSICAL: Mamma Mia!
BEST ACTION/ADVENTURE: Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull
BEST COMEDY: Juno
BEST FAMILY: Wall-E
BEST MALE PERFORMANCE: Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street (he didn't turn up to accept his award, I can't imagine why)
BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE: Meryl Streep, Mamma Mia!
Apparently the highlight of the evening occurred when Sex And The City's Chris Noth (who's giving two large fingers to both Nicolas Cage and Charlie Sheen) said: "We are doing a sequel right here in London. I don't know, I'm just kidding, it's up to the writer, Michael Patrick King. He has some great ideas. I think it would be a great place to make it. If Woody Allen can make films in London, why can't we? Maybe Carrie and Mr Big could take their honeymoon here, maybe his business could move here or could bring him here and they could settle down. They could take in some old Kings and Queens, Westminster Abbey, do all the tourist stuff, that would be fun."