"I can't eat a croc dick. My name is Janice Dickinson but I'm not going to eat a croc dick." Needless to say, Janice didn't win the Bushtucker trail which will be aired tonight. In the Sushi Train of Pain trial, Janice and chef John Whatshisface were presented with a train carrying a selection of grubs and creepy crawlies, but Janice refused to even look at some of the dishes, while John calmly ate everything he was served. He then tried to kiss Janice afterwards… that man has a stomach of steel.

Here are some of the other topics that should be addressed in tonight's show: * The origin of Cerys's'sss's boobs is questioned by Rodney. She tries to say the pertness is due to her "warrior bra" but I'd say they're fake, they didn't bounce NEARLY as much as they should have on that log with Marc…) * Cerys winning the celebrity chest (pun intended) * The two tribes merging (I'd say J would be quite happy about that considering he's stuck with a load of women) * Lynne and Janice bickering some snore - sorry - more. * J has an unlikely admirer (my money's on Janice. I'd say she likes them thick) *J saying he'd murder a cup of coffee (if he tries to say "big monkey's b*ll*cks" tonight I might try a transcontinental slap). * Everybody talking about Katie (cause she's a WENCH). * Marc and Cerys'ss's's fireside flirting/log hopping heating up, which I'd say his bird is well chuffed about. Seriously, if you're going to do the dirt, TV is not the place. * Janice and Katie gossiping about J and Gemma. Imagine how intelligent their spawn would be?

And that's that. You'll have to excuse me, I'm off to do some actual work now.