I'm confuuused *jigs*. This here is Elton John's Annual AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Oscars Viewing Party. You will see some repeated people, such as Dianna Agron wearing the same dress she sported to the Vanity Fair After Party... Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I assumed this was a party where people who weren't invited to The Oscars get to watch it in a room with big screens and lots of champers. The presence of Kelly Osbourne isn't that flummoxing, she's wearing the same dress and probably just tottered from her E! Red Carpet Spouting Skitter to 160 Countries gig and arrived a bit late. It's the presence of Florence Welch that's perplexing. She was on the red carpet AND performed at the ceremony. Was she not allowed stay? Did she not want to stay? So many redundant questions.

Anyway, most people looked nice (especially Emma Roberts, and I do like Sharon Osbourne's sedate number), except Hayden Pannetierre, Nicole Ritchie, Terri Seymour, Maria Conchita Alonso, Tome Sizemore's head, Kelly Osbourne's right arm, and of course, Jordan.

It will come as no surprise that the latter made a holy show of herself - and not with this creature. Apparently she tried it on with the entire congregation apart from him. Here is a liberal cut and paste from The Sun:

"She stumbled drunkenly around Elton John's post-awards party hurling herself at horrified men. The mum of three managed to corner Bros starMatt Goss for a kiss then tried to snog some bemused women. Jordan, 32 (for the last couple of years), also made a beeline for boxer Joe Calzaghe but he ducked out of the way. Eventually she ended up dragging a mystery man, now thought to be Argentinean model Leandro Penna into a taxi. She was heard asking him: 'How big is your c***?' One witness said: 'It was embarrassing. People didn't know where to look. She was so drunk she was slurring her words and trying desperately to pull any man who would listen to her for more than 30 seconds. And there weren't many. She was rejected by Calzaghe but managed to land a smacker on Matt Goss. She even tried unsuccessfully to kiss some women. In the end she went off with some guy she had just met. He obviously didn't know who she was. Everyone heard her asking him how big his willy was'... Early the following morning, she posted a picture of herself with Argentinian model Leandro (23), on her Twitter page. Katie, who last week claimed she had given up the booze and was enjoying waking up with a clear head, Tweeted: 'Great night celebrating Oscars and very successful week. Led astray so sore head!'"

And that's Tuesday's headline news, folks.

The below gallery also includes Vanessa Hudgens, the other one from High School Musical, Tori Spelling, Petra Nemcova, Heidi Klum, Malin Ackerman, Darma, Serena Williams's concealer which she keeps in her wee clutch, Prince, Amanda Cosgrove, Sharon Stone, Michael Sitpe, Jamie Foxx, Kim $68million Kardashian, and more....