Miley, I know you're young and don't appear to have much in the way of parental guidance, so here's what not to say when being interviewed by Seventeen magazine: "We became boyfriend and girlfriend the day we met. He was on a quest to meet me, and he was like, 'I think you're beautiful and I really like you.' And I was like, 'Oh, my gosh, I like you so much.' Nick (Jonas, everyone's, like, totally into the Jonas Brothers in America) and I loved each other. We still do, but we were in love with each other." That's funny; I thought he was going out with another Disney progeny, Selena Gomez... That aside, claiming that someone, who split with you a year ago, is still in love with you kind've hums of desperate delusion. And then, it gets worse. When asked about a break up, NEVER say: "At first I bawled for a month straight. I was so sad. I just went into this weird funk. And I dyed my hair black. When we were dating, Nick wanted me to get highlights - and so I did that, and I got myself looking great. And then, on the day we broke up, I was like, I want to make my hair black now - I don't want to look pretty. I want to look hard-core. I was rebelling against everything Nick wanted me to be. And then I was like, I've got to be by myself for now, and just figure out who I really am..." OK, just when I thought you were about to burst into a Gloria Gaynor tribute, you end with: "Maybe he'll be my best friend for the rest of my life or maybe I'll end up marrying Nick Jonas (doubtful). Since (the break-up), I've realised that I've met so many great guys, but I like being the girl nobody can have. No one can touch me, no one's mine. I'm myself. I think it's sexy to do your own thing." Lastly, no one should be touching you - you're 15.