It'll come as a surprise to no one when I say Lisa Marie Presley and a mate contacted her ex husband through the conventional conduit. A medium.

Karen Faye, who had the joy of putting make up on what was left of Jackson's face for a living, had this to say of the communication: "He seemed to be on a mission to reach out to people in his life and be forgiven. Michael spent his time explaining his faults and wanting us to forgive him. He seemed unsettled. He seemed more jovial with Lisa. The psychic turned to me and said Michael is telling me, 'You took such good care of me, and I am so sorry I hurt you so much'. He said he should have listened to me more. It hit me straight in the heart..."

When it was put to her that perhaps this "psychic" was full of it (trust me, I've been to a few), she said: "There were definite, deep insights that would have been difficult to make up... It was detailed about the inner dynamics of his family and his levels of pain and emotional inability."

Seemingly, when the spirit of Jackson was queried regarding Dr. Conrad's manslaughter charges, he merely said he was "detached from things". Funny that.

Ok, this is all very well and good, but what of Elvis. Have the two of them been getting on down with Jim Morrison and John Lennon to make a celestial super group? He wasn't forthcoming regarding that either? Hmmmmmm. What about these rumours of him having impressive urinary trajectory?

Yep, Michael Jackson was extremely proficient when it came to piddling into crockery on demand. Behold this testimony from TMZ:

"TMZ first published the autopsy findings yesterday. Among the items found in the bedroom where Dr. Conrad Murray was treating Michael Jackson - 'a closed bottle of urine atop a chair.' Back in November, we posted a story about Dr. Arnold Klein, who told us that Michael Jackson had a habit of peeing in cups and other objects, often in front of others. Dr. Klein told TMZ today Jackson would pee in any object that was available and it all stemmed from necessity. 'That's how he peed,' Klein said."

I'll leave you with that.