She doesn't just give out about Disney and look like a younger version of Jordan on the cover of this month's edition of GQ - she also pulls out the mother of all faux lesbianisms by proclaiming she once dated a stripper called Nikita.

"Well, that year my boyfriend broke up with me and I decided - oh man, sorry, mommy! - that I was in love with this girl that worked at the Body Shop (a haven for the desperate, not the natural beauty products giant). I decided that I was going to get her to love me back, and I went out of my way to create a relationship with this girl, a stripper named Nikita... Look, I'm not a lesbian. I just think that all humans are born with the ability to be attracted to both sexes. I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a girl - Olivia Wilde (who used to attend our very own Gaiety School of acting) is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands. She's mesmerising. And lately I've been obsessed with Jenna Jameson, but... oh boy."

Look Megan, you can JUST about get away with dating Brian Austin Green - you were too young to remember him in 90210 - but my respect for you will plummet beyond return if you keep exhibiting this total lack of imagination. You choose the world's best known porn star and someone with a massive jaw who tried to turn Marissa Cooper in the O.C. as your fantasy targets. Cliches aside; kudos for the strangulation of a mountain ox analogy - that'll have magazine buying men folk perspiring for a myriad of reasons.