Yeah, I tried ignoring this yesterday when it was doing the rounds on t'internet, but there it was today in the Metro Herald, taunting me and my ballooning bump on the DART. Every time I looked up, there was a sea of commuters holding up the page with the headline "PAINFUL BIRTH OF FOX CUB".

Megan Fox has a history of saying stuff she shouldn't, calling Michael Bay a 'Nazi' is one of her finer moments, and here's her latest installment. It's her describing the birth of her first child, Noah:

"I was screaming for an epidural when Brian was driving me to the hospital because my water broke on its own and I was immediately - it was level orange alert pain. It... can't be anything because it hurts so bad (what does that even mean?). It was so intense. And I thought I was gonna be really tough and make it, I was gonna labour to like 8 cm... but the first contraction that I got was horrific!"

Despite the pain, the 26-year-old actress still wanted to look her best during labour: "'I had wet hair so I was trying to blow dry my hair before I went to the hospital because I didn't want to go to the hospital with wet hair."

With two months to go, I'm under no illusion of how painful labour is going to be. Sure, I like the idea of panting out the contractions, trying to remain as relaxed as possibly because the fear of "pain" causes a release of adrenaline, which can lead to a more painful and prolonged labour (catch 22 really), so reading stuff like "the first contraction that I got was horrific" is never going to help at this point. That's the type of thing I liked to read when not pregnant, so I could high five myself for avoiding it for so long.

At 30 weeks, it's going to happen. It's inevitable. Damn you, Brad Pitt.