Okay, we're calling BS on this story because it's just too much.

Police in Binghamton, New York arrested a 56-year-old man this past weekend after truck drivers reported sighting him committing 'sexually lewd acts' in the car park and field at a rest stop just outside the town.

First of all there's the fact that the man arrested goes by the name Mr. Wank. Secondly, the fact that Mr. Wank (seriously, we can't believe we're typing this) was arrested for 'public lewdness'. And thirdly, Calvin (it's easier to just call him that) was picked up for his lewdness in a field next to a rest stop called Loves Travel Stop.

Really? Did someone make a mistake when they scheduled an April Fools' joke or is this legit? Syracuse.com have a photo of the perp, and while he looks like he could fit the bill, we're just not able to take this in as real life. We just can't. Sorry.

Apparently 'It was not immediately clear exactly what Wank was doing outside the truck stop, just off Interstate 81' but he was issued a ticket, and told to answer the charge in court in October. Maybe he can apply for a name change while he's there, because really, who wants to be Mrs. Wank?