X-Factor's resident self-important leprechaun, Louis Walsh, has hit out at Piers Morgan, declaring the 44-year-old Britain's Got a Herd of Mad Yokes judge "pompous."
The self-proclaimed pop mogul joined Britain's Got Talent earlier this year when he replaced Simon Cowell for a short time when he got a bad dose of the man flu.
However, Morgan was less than impressed with Walsh's performance, saying he kept getting confused and telling the acts that didn't sing that they would not be able to get a record deal. Weeeell. He is getting on a bit.
By way of retort, Walsh has said: "I don't think he's a great judge. Piers is terribly pompous." Very true. He's also the best talk show host in England by his own humble admission.
But we're overlooking what this minor quibble boils down to - apart from PR for both of their shows. You ready for the obvious? OK. Both Piers and Louis want to invade Simon's body, hence the verbal slights. Piers wants to crawl into Cowell's flesh (possibly with the aid of an electro-magnetic shrink ray and a handy portal. Or he could well venture down the route of Silence of The Lambs' s'ss's Buffalo Bill...), assuming his form so he can truly infiltrate the American market undetected. Some could argue that he's already done this through his appointment on America's Got Talent, but it's not really working for him.
Louis might have, shall we say, more conventional plans... which don't need spelling out. So we'll leave it there. Enjoy your lunch.