She may be seen pouting about town with Victoria Beckham, but just a few days later she's undertaking a triathlon, smiling for the cameras without a screed of make up and a waistline more appropriate for a new mum - unlike the photoshopped to bits atroncity gracing the cover of Elle's October edition. Are we seriously meant to believe her head's nearly as wide as her torso?

According to The Sun: "The mum of seven-month-old twins did the ½-mile swim, 18-mile bike ride and four-mile run in 2hr 23min. Jennifer Lopez finished her first triathlon on Sunday morning in Malibu and immediately did what anyone else would do - she flew across the country to NYC to celebrate her little husband's 40th birthday!"

As has been previously reported, family life has given her a more grounded perspective on things - especially when it comes to career matters: "There are moments with tremendous highs, and then there are moments you're under the radar for a little bit - and you come back up. That's just part of being an artist. You'll have that record that hits, and you'll have that record that won't. Nothing is as important as Marc and the kids, which takes a tremendous amount of pressure off work. When it's only your work, if that's not going well, then everything's messed up. But as long as this (my family life) is going well, everything else will be okay."

If this is what having screaming twinlings (oodles of money and a personal trainer) does for you, start forming an orderly queue. Basting equipment preferred!

I am, of course, joking. I owe it to human kind not to spawn.