"For GAWD's sake, Ali, Mommy's trying to do some promo for her new E! reality show about what a good ma/nager she is - what will people say about you slouching like that! Are you pretending your phantom lady lumps *dances* are weighing you down? Don't worry - we can always get you a boob job once you turn 16 and claim it off expenses. Your sister's already served her purpose, so it's up to you now to be the family's gravy train - until Michael Jnr. is old enough to impregnate someone famous. Now smile for the camera! C'mon, you can look nonchalant without slouching, honey, try sticking your hands in your pockets like your mommy, it'll straighten that back and you won't look like you're clinging to me for dear life. Now, SMILE! And hand mommy that rouge, you haven't nearly enough on." OK, so who am I to put words into Dina Lohan's mouth - especially when a picture more than suffices. Of Dina's new reality TV show, Lisa Berger of E! said: "The Lohans are one of the most intriguing families in the entertainment industry today... This is a family that knows how to roll with the punches and come out on top. Dina is an incredibly hard-working, passionate mom that I think our viewers will find both relatable and highly entertaining." Way to insult your viewers there, Lisa.