For some reason, Lily was invited to talk to "an obscure French footie mag" called SoFoot. OK, so she's into her football (sort of... she supports Fulham) but why else would they want to talk to her? Ahhhh, 'cause they know her trap has no off button and her snarky/largely unfounded insights about WAGs would ensure their magazine wouldn't be considered "obscure" for much longer.

Of footballers' behaviour, she said: "It's ridiculous, I hate it. Footballers aren't there to show off in London, but to play football. Mind you, they are probably too stupid to understand that. Especially the English ones... (They) go out everywhere they can find alcohol for too much money and sex for nothing... Fulham play football like I play my music - out of passion (sorry, do you play music?). Not for fame, sex, money, Ferraris and free entry into nightclubs."

Of The Beckhams, she said: "The Beckhams are sickening. Everyone knows Victoria is a monster. I'd rather shoot myself between the eyes than be a WAG."

Of Ashley Cole, she said: "He is the worst, he disgusts me. He jumps on everything that moves. I am not criticising just to criticise (... um), but I have met him several times. He is revolting."

And, most tellingly, of Cheryl Cole, she said: "She is just a bitch. She represents everything I hate. She is stupid, superficial and as ugly outside as inside."

Sooooooo, not that ugly at all then? D'you know, she had me up until that last part, especially with the Ashley comment, but her bitterness got the better of her in the end. That's what drinking your own bodyweight on a regular basis does to you *hics... waggles finger menacingly... falls over*