What bright spark in OK! Magazine thought it was a good idea to give Kerry Katona her own column? The same could be said of this hack, but at least I don't openly chew my own eyebrow in public and can type my own prattlings without passing out on the laptop. Much. Kerry's musings last week included some thoughts about baby names. According to Digital Spy, she "expressed concerns" over the name Ulrika Jonsson chose for the latest addition to her brood, saying: "Now I like old-fashioned names, but I have to say that Malcolm is not one of my favourites. It's quite a nerdy name. Let's hope the other kids aren't mean to him when he goes to school." I'd be more concerned about kids being mean to offspring a bit closer to home, what with the ongoing slanging between yourself and Brian, the public flatulence, the perpetual gurning, the slackjaw of a husband, not to mention the reality show which provides a vehicle for all of the above alongside Maxwell's birth and a torrent of dog turd in the spare room...