'F*cked up beyond all recognition' indeed...
The former glamour model is joining FUBAR Radio - the UK's only uncensored subscription station - to present a Tuesday morning slot from 10am to 1pm (three whole hours of Jordan talking sh*te) alongside c40-year-old comedian Mark Dolan, who's no doubt thrilled his career has come to this.
Katie, 36, will co-host the weekly show and will "voice her opinions on the week's news" and interacting directly with FUBAR listeners. We hope they have enough funds for a decent legal team... and that she won't be trying to sly on ill-advised renditions of A Whole New World... (scrub to the minute mark - if you dare).
Katie - who is pregnant with her second child with her estranged third husband Kieran Hayler (the one she dumped after discovering her was having an affair with her former best friend Jane Pountney) - said: "I can't wait to join FUBAR radio. I've got a lot to get off my chest and this is the perfect station! I've always enjoyed being a guest on radio shows and now I can't wait to host my own show alongside my fantastic co-host Mark Dolan. Listeners can expect the unexpected, total honesty and a very fun three hours while we are on air."
Mark - who has previously presented for BBC London and hosts Channel 4 game show Balls Of Steel (Channel 4 also tried to peddle him as their version of Louis Theroux. It didn't work on account of Mark's levels of condescension) - is apparently "looking forward" to having Katie join him in the studio. Because it's a world away from the BBC...
— Fubar Radio (@FubarRadio) June 17, 2014
He said: "I can't wait to get on the radio with Katie. She's hilarious and one of the biggest stars in the country (yikes). Her honest and outspoken views will have millions tuning in. Katie's got a lot to say, and you'll hear it all on FUBAR."
FUBAR's CEO Duncan Smith is sure that outspoken Katie will be well suited to presenting the unregulated channel.
He said:"FUBAR has always been about creating radio that can't be heard anywhere else, edgy, provocative and above all, entertaining. We are delighted to welcome Katie to the station, as like our fantastic comedy artists, Katie has never been shy in her expressing her views and FUBAR is the only place she can really let rip about what's in the news."
She may even give birth live on air. Hey, it'd be a radio first (yer man off Heart FM "gave birth" on live radio with the aid of a 'labour simulator', but it's obviously not the same thing). She should totally pitch that immediately. Until then FUBAR listeners will be treated to in depth details regarding how she's weeing herself cause of the babies head, etc.
For the record, I don't think Tom Evans off Heart was properly strapped up to anything there, he's having far too much fun.