Apparently Katie Hopkins also gets paid to pen her bile, which is handy for her considering most of the UK population want her off the television.

She's evidently craving some attention, so - in her latest column - she's called X Factor winner Sam Bailey a "fat mum in a jumpsuit" that has the heart "of a prison warden". She then added "The next time you see Sam will be on the final of X Factor 2014", followed by "If you stop outside the arena to grab something to eat you might even see (runner up) Nicolas (McDonald). He will be asking if you want fries with that."

As for the judges themselves, Sharon Osbourne will "need to bulk buy plastic" to maintain her current visage; Elton John was "puffy about the gills" and Gary Barlow "played the piano like a drunk." Surprisingly, she didn't have anything to say about Nicole Scherzinger. Then again, there's never much to say about Nicole Scherziinger.

Wouldn't it be lovely to be like Katie Hopkins, practically poisoned in every way.

>'Rent-a-gob' Hopkins puts hoof in it with (allegedly) ill-timed 'Scottish Life Expectancy' tweet...