... they go and release this seriously anorexic "limited edition" commemorative Princess Catherine Engagement Doll, which has been whittled together using rubber covered pipe cleaners, hair, felt, and a dragged up oversized Ken doll's head. Christ, the girl is skinny enough without fuelling a complex.
As Royal Wedding tat goes, this isn't the most offensive on offer, weirdly enough (it's even being sold in posh kiddie's toy shop Hamleys). There's the usual classy plates, spoons, badges, flags, mugs, eh, clotted cream toffee, but bright sparks across the planet have also stamped Wills and Kate's mushes on such items as "sick bags to condoms", not to mention toilet seats.
In classier merchandising, there is now an officially Royal Wedding ap available for download. The Mirror reports: "Everything you could ever want to know about the couple can now be in the palm of your hand in an instant, on your iPhone, iTouch, iPad or Nokia smartphone. And with 10 chapters packed with brilliant writing, stunning pictures - plus video and audio on Apple devices - there is enough to keep you riveted until the big day on April 29 - and beyond. Narrated by the Daily Mirror's legendary former Royal Correspondent James Whitaker, who has been reporting on the royals since 1968, the app, called Wills & Kate A Royal Love Story, tells the story of their romance in 10 chapters."
Incidentally, we're treating the event on April 29th as a rollicking celebrity event and therefore will be live blogging for the day. Might that be of interest, or would you rather watch paint dry?