Jordan's cunning plan to recapture the hearts of the fans who are swiftly abandoning her, is to get her groove on with a cage fighter who used to be on Hollyoaks. Did we mention he's also currently in a long term relationship? Bonus.

Seemingly Jordan had a "love-making session" in Liverpool's Malmaison with Alex Reid (I believe he's referred to as the Reidernator and The Detonator in some spheres) on Thursday. The pair then moved on to The Circle club Manchester on Friday, whereupon Jordan spewed publicly after "flashing her boobs." Saturday saw a repeat performance in Brighton, where Jordan upped the classiness steaks by wrapping her chops around some fried goods in a local chipper.

A friend of Reid's girlfriend, Marie, had this to say to The Mirror: "They were childhood sweethearts, but Katie has been chasing him for a while and it looks like he has caved in. Marie had a feeling that something was going on after she found text messages on Alex’s phone. Katie has known Alex for the past year after being introduced by a mutual friend. Alex reassured Marie they were only friends. I don't think Alex thought that he'd fall for her and who knows if he has? It could just be the novelty of it all... Marie bought Alex aftershave, socks and a kickboxing game for his PlayStation for his birthday. The latest we heard from Alex was that Jordan has bought him a car. No wonder his head has been turned, Marie can't compete with that."

Jordan flashing her boobs and spewing are a novelty, eh? He'll learn. Then again, he's progressed from Hollyoaks to cage fighting.

D'you know what is novel, though? Reid's explanation as to why he's been swinging out of Jordan recently: "Katie has got really interested in martial arts and we've been talking a lot about that (when I've not been too busy smelling her hair in clubs). I've also been helping out with her security - and there's not much more to it than that."