She rolled her baps onto GMTV to promote her new book (I think that's 38 to date) Sapphire this morning (she went on to do a "signing" in Selfridges this afternoon... this thing on the left looks vaguely familiar), and had this to say:

"Junior knows something's up. I just say, 'Don't be silly Junior'. I say, you know, 'Daddy's away working and Mummy's here.' You know, you don't want to confuse the child. But the good thing is I've got him clean at night, so he's not wetting the bed or anything, so that's a good sign, he's not unsettled like that. But there's so much love from his side and our side so they shouldn't really be affected... One good thing that's come out of it - he's actually doing things with the kids and it's really nice to see. Whereas me, I'm not doing any like media stuff with the kids because I don't want to do that, but it's good to see that Pete's actually taking the kids out."

No, you're just flashing your boobs at Piers Morgan and divulging your child's bedwetting habits all in a quest to promote another bloody book you haven't bloody written.

When Ben Shepard said: "Are you suggesting that's a cynical ploy by him?" Jordan said: "No, I'm just saying it's really nice to see he's doing the fatherly thing... It's really nice to see."

What isn't so nice to see is your mother calling your father a "right c***" on Twitter (not that you were slating him, or anyfink). At least they won't have to read anything about that for a few years.

In other vacuous news: Jordan plans to appear in the next SATC film: "I recently went to LA where I was doing my acting lessons for Sex And The City Part 2. They want a big-breasted English glamour girl and I have had the audition."