It's official. Nothing can happen on Twitter without the direct involvement of its Lord Mayer. NOTHING! *shakes fist menacingly*
John Mayer, evidently envious of Perez stealing his twittering thunder, decided to throw in his two cents on the whole "I've just been assaulted by will.i.am" sh*t pit, by posting:
"Last year Pink kneed me in the nuts outside Chateau Marmont. I was p*ssing blood for days. Did I make a scene? PerezHilton's video statement is so long that by the end of it his cut healed."
Hilton shot back with: "That's real funny! Ha ha! And I'm sure you also think I 'deserved' to get hit!"
Mayer: "Not true. In fact I'd like to train you in Krav Maga. Then you'll have the situational awareness not to get in someone's face. I also want to train you in an old martial art called 'Never Call A Black Dude a F*ggot Jitsu'."
Hilton: "Dude, I get it. I GET IT. But it's not f**king funny to me. Karma would be me losing my site and going bankrupt or what have u. Karma is NOT getting punched in the face!"
The turdball volley continued with Mayer responding with a Tweet which appears to be about 150million characters long (how can this be?)
"From the heart, what you experienced these last 24 hrs is a profound lack of control. You can't blog the world, my friend. It's like The Matrix. You live in the Perez Matrix. You wrote the program, you can fly. Then you leave the Matrix, and oh, what the hell, you're not gonna get it. You're a sweet guy though."
Hilton: "I live in my own world. And in my world, I would never punch someone. And in my world, that's illegal! Also, in my world, if someone repeatedly talks sh*t about me, I ignore them or TALK as much sh*t back (you don't say?). But that's just me."
Mayer: "Today, the fourth wall came crashing down. Mario, you are human. I call upon Twitter to be kind to you."
Hilton: "I'm not human! I'm a monster! Good night, John Mayer."
Mayer: "Good night Perez, you dumb s**t."
The Lord Mayer of Twitter calling you a dumb sh*t... Eeeeeeeeep, that must smart more than getting fisted in a drunken scuffle.
