Since winning an award for becoming a mutant cumberland sausage in record time, Jodie Marsh has now taken her magical muscley tour to a television near you. Yesterday she was invited on This Morning, to freak the sh*t out of Philip and provide Holly with tanning tips.

She then held an interview with several tabloids, to talk about their preferred subject matter: "My breasts used to look big yet natural - but since training I've become so lean they now really stick out. At the championships last weekend, my boobs really counted against me. They hung down so low I had to hold them up so the judges could see my abs properly (like she's displaying for Philip here). My next job is definitely to get smaller implants fitted."

Then, of her romantic life, she offered: "I'm not dating anyone at the moment. I've been single for two and a half years now and I've never been happier so what does that tell you?" That it's important to take up a hobby, but not one that has you lifting weights for eight hours a day?

ITV seemingly think their viewers need Marsh to put them off their breakfast as well as their elevenses; they had her freaking the beejeebus out of Adrian Childs on Daybreak, before appearing on Lorraine to provide Lorraine Kelly's hand with its own dirty protest...

Why doesn't she just give people what they really want? Am I the only person who wants to see her nose perform press ups? Or at least bench press 180?