I... I just... Sorry, please give me a few moments... *flaps hand in front of face furiously*... um, I thought we might, you know, adopt in time or something... *dabs at eyes* but she's let that individual who did the dirt on her impregnate her *shakes fist*... According to People Magazine, her rep jovially announced: "I confirm that Jessica and Cash (Warren) are expecting a baby in late spring, early summer." It's all become so clear now; only yesterday she was saying she was going to start covering up more, that she didn't want to "draw attention" to herself in that way... I should've known then that our dual future in which we wiled away the days watching each other reenact dance routines from 'Honey' was just... not to be... *lips quiver in unattractive fashion*. You were my one and only, Jessica (bar some girl in school, but she looked like a boy) - who am I meant to have an unsettling girl crush on now?! Hmmmm, perhaps Charlize Theron ;)
