Seriously, it's him, sitting in a room wearing his paper bag, and you get to pick an object from a table which he may - or may not - discuss with you. A press release regarding the 'exhibition' stated: "Shia LaBeouf is sorry. Sincerely sorry. He will be in situ at 7354 Beverly Boulevard for the duration. Implements will be provided." Said implements include a bullwhip, a pink ukelele, a pair of pliers, a bowl of Hershey kisses, and a few other things. Cryptic. He's there all week.
Kyle Buchanan, a writer for Vulture, made him cry, so every cloud. After initially being ushered away, as Shia "wasn't ready" for him, Buchanan was then invited to take on of the provided props. You can read the complete experience here - but, in short, the journalist attempted to play the Ukele for Shia, while engaging him in a staring competition. So intense was the staring match, that Shia started to cry (staring matches have been known to make the eyes water). Buchanan then offered him his hand, and they sat there weeping for a while. Seemingly he made a right mess of his paper bag. Who knows what may have happened had Kyle brought in the Hershey kisses...
Apparently the line at 7354 Beverly Boulevard has increased slightly, with people wanting to make Shia LaBeouf cry (read the end of Buchanan's article). He is missing one element from his table of props, however - and that is Joaquin Phoenix.
Joaquin should be curled up in a ball, in a nappy fresh with faeces, possibly clasping the pair of pliers. The person who chooses the curled up Joaquin could then watch as he plucks out Shia's remaining teeth, and possibly his eyelashes, because that's the only way the pair of them are going to get the level of attention they require. That is what bored movie stars call art. Something totally original...
>The story behind Shia LaBeouf's choice of brown bag headgear at Nymphomaniac premiere
>Shia LaBeouf wanted penis cam for Nymphomaniac
