I'm A Celebrity prides itself on including stuff people don't really need to see in their lifetime (Fatima Whitbread inhaling a cockroach, Paul Burrell loosing his sh*t over a kangaroo bollock, Joe Swash), and this year is no different - apart from having to wearing sunglasses at night to combat the laser beams bouncing off Joey Essex's gnashers.
Last night, the thing I really didn't need to see was Chas Dingle's face undulating wildly as she plummeted out of a helicopter. Also, no one needs to see Big Mo off EastEnders on anything apart from EastEnders, her stint on Dancing on Ice was confirmation enough. On that show, we had to deal with her legs akimbo in flesh coloured tights. On this, we have more of these little gems to look forward to: "I don’t mind eating testicle and penises. As long as they ain’t hard.”
Another thing we could've done without last night was the sight of a Olympian Medallist fawning over someone off Westlife, yet there was Rebecca Adlington saying to Kian Egan: "You were in Westlife. I was a big fan growing up. I’m not even going to pretend I’ve not been to loads of your concerts.”
I could carry on moaning, but - to be honest - I was only half watching as the child was intent on coughing up a lung and then spray painting her cot the fish bake I'd prepared earlier. Ant and Dec could've been banging out recycled Morecomb and Wise gold, but it was lost on me. If you also mostly missed last night's show and are hell bent on watching this evening, here is what you need to know:
Joey Essex and Steve Davis (he's a famous snooker player of yore, kiddies) were the first members of The Red Team, so they picked Rebecca Adlington and model Amy Willerton - because Joey was intent on picking "fit girls." How Laila 'Big Mo' Morse ended up on their team is something of a mystery. The Yellow Team initially comprised of Lucy 'Chas Dingle off Emmerdale' Pargeter and Alfonso 'Carlton dance' Ribeiro, and they chose Kian Egan off Westlife, designer David Emanuel, and a very hungover Matthew Wright to join them.
Be warned, tonight's Bushtucker Trial involves gagging over a load of grubs, so keep the mute button close by as I doubt Joey Essex (Matthew Wright was also chosen) will chow down quietly.
