It's irrational to dislike someone you've never met, but that hasn't stopped me cultivating a disdain for Minogue Part II. First, there's a hum of 'try hard' off her, probably because she's forever in Kylie's shadow. We already have the mediocre (however charming) talents of one Minogue to contend with, must we bear two? Secondly, I'm not too fond of the spelling of her name. If it's been like that since birth then fair enough, but I've always had a pet peeve regarding the adding/changing of letters in names in a bid to seem unique.
 
The third reason an invitation to tea wouldn't be extended comes courtesy of Simon Cowell, by way of The Mirror: "Dannii is thrilled to be back (judging X Factor). She's not concerned about the oestrogen battle between herself and Sharon - she's a big girl. There may be tension between herself, Louis (insert oestrogen level joke here) and Sharon but all three judges realise it's this electric chemistry that has given the show an edge... The pay rise, taking her from around £400,000 per series to £900,000, is well-deserved (?!!?). Her act won the whole competition for starters, and ratings for the series were fantastic. And this year it looks like there'll be two shows a week - one on Saturday and one on Sunday night, so in effect she's doubling her hours. Obviously Dannii is delighted that she's being taken seriously as a TV personality but in terms of X Factor, she is just determined to retain her crown. She's also been linked to American Idol but is still in the negotiating stages - nothing's been confirmed (read: they've not passed the hand holding in the back of cars stage yet). In the meantime, Dannii can't wait to get cracking with next week's London auditions."
 
Dannii's act won last year 'cause it was rigged. A completely unfounded statement, yes, but it's just a hunch. And before anyone says it - yip, I'm totally jealous - €1,138,218 to sit there looking shiny and sprouting the odd tear? Hell yeah! Seriously though, she got lucky with RRRRHYDIAN and the young fellah who won (his name I can't remember - Leon? - but you can be sure he's been tucking into too many bottles of Buckie in Glasgow since winning). They were both young, (relatively) attractive and one of them had actual talent. If she'd be assigned to mentor another group, would she have won? She was the least controversial of all the judges; a less animated version of Amanda Holden who's all but a fragment of the lunacy that's Paula Abdul. So, how did she come about being awarded TV Personality Of The Year by Glamour... a week before the X Factor auditions start... *cue image of Simon Cowell dive bombing into a pile of money*. The PR wheel is cranking into action - she might even be tempted to release another single mid series. Goodie.