It's safe to assume that money's a scarcity for most people at present  (unless you work for Goldman Sachs), so here's a guide on what not to squander your dwindling notage on, courtesy of Nicolas Cage.

Cage currently owes in the region of $64million to the tax man and is "suing his manager for leading him down the path of financial ruin." OK, so that's rule number one: don't waste money hiring a manager.

The following comes from Us Magazine. I've highlighted the items Nic's manager clearly forced him to buy for your perusing convenience. Us internet sorts have "very short attention spans", if you believe everything you scan.

"In 2007, he outbid Leonardo DiCaprio for a dinosaur skull, shelling out $276,000 for the artifact. His homes included three castles - plus two islands in the Bahamas. Among his 'dozen or so' mansions, one Bel Air home, purchased in 1998, features a billiard room with a 1955 Jaguar parked inside plus an array of "shrunken heads.' Out of his 50 cars, the most Cage ever shelled out was $495,000 on Lamborghini - used. (Its former owner was the shah of Iran, wouldn't you know) Obsessed with superheroes (he was once set to star in a Superman sequel), he sold his comics collection in 1997 for $1.6 million. While portraying an alcoholic in Leaving Las Vegas (his Oscar-winning role) in 1995, he hired an 'on set drinking-consultant-poet'."

He hired a pisshead poet? Now that's just lunacy, they're ten a penny down the local. They'll be tickled to hear some chancer's made their maudlin existence into a profession. But then they'll feel bitter, 'cause they spent all their boat fare to America on booze... Then they'll consult each other regarding how they feel about narrowly missing out on being "mov*hics* movie shhh*hics*tars", have another drink, and then pee a poem on the urinal wall. Good times. 

Well, at least one member of the Cage family seems to have the thrifty gene. Although he could spend all his money on useful things like large cigars. Or therapy.