Say it isn't so... HBO are planning a sitcom starring Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton. I've been so busy planning Ryan Seacrest's demise I didn't notice the purveyors of such viewing gold as Six Feet Under, Entourage and The Sopranos stabbing me in the back with what used to be their edge.
 
According to The Daily Star, it will be "a cross between Ugly Betty and Friends" and "Desperate Housewives writer Marc Cherry has allegedly been contacted to pen the script." OK, eh... OK... eh... Oh God - this can't be real. Can it? It's The Daily Star, there's a good chance it's all lies... Oh God, please let it be lies?! This is has to be some twisted nightmare *starts pinching self uncontrollably* For the love of God, WAKE UP!!! *blacks out*

Right, there's a lot of drool, where's all this drool coming from? It's possibly my liquidised brain making a bid for freedom. Before it flees into the dark, dark night, completing my descent into gibbering idiocy, here's what a "source" had to say of HBO's alleged venture into luminously generic viewing:

"The chemistry between them will be electric. They were all very close and have had their ups and downs in the LA party world. But they have overcome those problems now. And they can draw from their experiences for the sitcom... Paris would play the most ambitious of the three. Her character is supposed to be a hot fashion designer. Britney's character is an aspiring singer. But, like Phoebe from Friends, her bizarre lyrics hold her back. And Lindsay Lohan is a little like Matt Le Blanc's wannabe actor character from Friends. She's obsessed with men and fast food."

Well, after reading that, it MUST be lies. HBO are sticklers for realism, in which case they'd have Britney playing the man mad KFC gobbler and Lindsay playing the aspiring singer... and as for Paris being the most ambitious with a successful career in fashion? Also, every second scene would have to feature them vacating cars sans knickers which would surely violate some broadcasting law *crosses straw strewn fingers*