Guy Ritchie has reportedly spent $100,000 (which I think is about €65,000) on an 18-karat gold diamond-studded Rolex Masterpiece watch for Madonna's 50th - 'cause that's what everyone wants when they clock up half a century - a constant reminder of the passage of time strapped to their person. On the upside; her daughter is the reported reincarnation of a noted politician.

According to PA Insider; "top Hollywood psychic Kenny Kingston held a seance earlier this week to honour the pop superstar's big birthday", and invited spirits to pay tribute to her - as one does. "He was stunned when Argentina's former leader Juan Peron stepped forward to wish the star, who had played his wife in Evita, all the best. Apparently Peron said that, by now, hopefully Madonna has realised her daughter Lourdes is a reincarnated Evita Peron." You could NOT make this sh*t up. Kingston said - "It seems that Madonna spent so much time at Evita's grave, doing research for her film role that Evita herself took over Madonna's body during filming. Those among us who are sensitive to this kind of thing can actually see Eva Peron going into Madonna's body when she sings Don't Cry For Me Argentina in the balcony scene (so, if you fancy yourself as a bit of a psychic, get yourself down to Xtra Vision and pick up a copy... if it's on DVD, that is). Kingston continued with: "Evita chose Madonna as a mother figure - and became Lourdes. Madonna fell pregnant with Lourdes while she was making the film."

Hang about, there's more good news: Kingston also claims "The late Juan Peron feels sure Madonna's daughter will become a great politician." Maybe then America will be ready for a female president. In which case, Lourdes' first ruling will be the mandatory sporting of trouers/skirts at all times, and the abolishment of spandex onesies.