Before we all start indulging the visual of Gwyneth hovering ninja like over her Japanese bamboo steamer pot, alongside a row of gluten free carob based muffins; she pays someone in a spa to do it for her. Yep, it's someone's job to steam clean Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina. And they're so good at said job, that Gwyneth is now endorsing the practise with gusto on her Goop website. Not exactly that surprising given she's also recently posted an article entitled: 'Sex Bark, Spirit Truffles & a Moon Juice Kitchen Takeover.'
Needless to say, the world at large does not appreciate the suggestion - mainly because most women, especially her fellow working mothers, barely have time to dart under the shower, never mind go somewhere (in this case the Tikkun Spa in Santa Monica) to pay someone to administer an intimate Nilfisk.
Just to make the experience sound more appealing, the steam is infused with a herb called 'mugwort'. There's also 'infrared'. For realz. So, essentially, you're treating your vulva to a rave.
In the post, Gwynnie says: "The real golden ticket here is the Mugwort V-Steam. You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al.” Of course there's a mini-throne involved. On the upside, this seems more civilised than the previous presumption of an intimate Nilfisk.
Paltrow adds that the experience is "an energetic release - not just a steam douche - that balances female hormone levels. If you’re in LA, you have to do it."
Needless to say, gynecologists aren't too keen on the idea of women getting on down with mugwort mini-thrones. According to Independent.co.uk, one Dr Jen Gunter, a certified obstetrician and gynaecologist, said: "Steam is probably not good for your vagina. Herbal steam is no better and quite possibly worse. Mugwort of wormwood or whatever when steamed, either vaginally or on the vulva, can’t possibly balance any reproductive hormones, regulate your menstrual cycle, treat depression, or cure infertility... Steam isn’t going to get into your uterus from your vagina unless you are using an attachment with some kind of pressure. Most definitely never, ever do that."
Those friends of Paltrow who are reportedly on a "mid-life crisis alert" aren't doing a very good job...