Nothing quite conveys 'Glamour' like clambering out of a cab, to then be papped on a pavement while being felt up by a bandmate...
In a moment, I shall regale the winners of last night's Glamour Awards UK (with a smattering of Americans), but firstly, let's enjoy a game of Whose Hoop is That? OK, this one's easy 'cause - even with the aid of a form fitting black gown - this's posterior is still universally mahooosive. Moving on to contestant number two... Doesn't she look tidy? Let's whip her round; it's onlyMs. KellyFinally, who could this be? Hmmmm, doesn't she look classy, like a brunette Jessica Rabbit. Who could it be? Chr*st almighty! Honestly, what a welcomed break from severe fringes, slashes of blusher, and tethered bin bags. What a honey.
Right, to the winners:
Presenter of the Year:Davina McCall
Designer of the Year: Sarah Burton
Film-maker of the Year:Jane Goldman
Theatre Actress of the Year: Naomie Harris
TV Personality of the Year: Dannii Minogue (bittersweet obvs)
Breakthrough of the Year: Ellie Goulding (she was there, I just forgot to include a photo, 'cause she's borrring, booohoorring, bohooorrrhiiinnnhinnggah)
Writer of the Year:Dawn French (not everyone appreciated Roger & Val Just Got In, but I did)
Sportswoman of the Year: Jessica Ennis
Band of the Year: The Saturdays
Accessory Designer of the Year: Victoria Beckham (she couldn't attend, probably too busy scoffing crisps)
Radio Personality of the Year:Fearne Cotton
TV Actress of the Year: Lenora Crichlow
Comedy Actress of the Year:Miranda Hart
Entrepreneur of the Year: Kim Kardashian
UK Solo Artist of the Year: Adele (she couldn't attend, probably too busy skulling cider with her mates in a park)
Film Actress of the Year: Gemma Arterton (really?)
Woman of Tomorrow: Jessie J
Editor's Special Award:Rosie Huntington Whiteley
Man of the Year: Garrett Hedlund
Outstanding Contribution:Stevie Nicks
We're not sure whyKings of Leon, JLS, and this manic man turned up, but we're not complaining. As for Mr. Schuester, he should forever wear glasses *swoons*. As for the rest of the folk in the gallery, there's a mountain and a half, like Caroline Flack, Tess Daly, Daisy Lowe, Eliza Doolittle,Diana Vickers, Tulisa Whatsherface, this effort, andthe hardest working ear in the business. Even Amanda Byram was there, and Minnie Mouse's shoes - go have a gander while I go scarf my lunch.
