Canadia's Much Music Awards rolled out their red carpet yesterday, and would you look at what trundled up it?
An assortment of man bands. The misguidedly namedThese Kids Wear Crowns. Some haven't been kids for a while, however if by 'crowns' they mean 'chronically questionable hair' then they're spot on. We also have a 'graduated beardy monochrome' band (the sheared down 80s version of which turned up later); the very excitable yet impressively prepared 'wet shirt competition' band; and 'Pokémen'.
In fact, so extensive was the proliferation of man bands, JLS felt obliged to turn up. So excited was Aston, he hastily made a sporran from his underpants, you know, to highlight he was of British extraction.
As for the male solo artists on display, here they are in order of delusion. Exhibit A, B, C, and D. Of course, there was also Justin Beiber. If someone would kindly take the time to explain the allure of this to me, I'm all ears.
Familiar faces, many of whom crossed the border for the affair included Perez Hilton (no comment); Miranda Cosgrove; Whitney Port; a threesome of what one would assume are well known porn stars; Shenae Grimes;and Kirstin Cavallari. Ke$ha turned up with some hobby horse pimp voodoo walking aid contraption in tow (although I do covet her sandals), and the Perry let it all wibble about in another dazzling rubber number. Meanwhile, Kellan Lutz, Ashley Greene and Xavier Samuel did their best 'See, who Needs Stewart and Lautner?!' poor man's impression.
You might have caught the odd Miley sign being thrust into view. This was the extent of her red carpet appearance. She probably needed time to lacerate the remnants of her stage outfit. Or master the fine art of the super quick outfit change. However did she manage this? Surely they didn't ask her to perform... twice?!