Life is all about balance, people. With the sublime, there must be a dollop of blah - that's just the way the world works. That's why I've ditifully coupled this extensive gallery of Megan Fox's side-arse with some of drivel she chooses to dribble despite some subtle words of advice.  Then again, considering the dress, perhaps subtlety is an alien concept.

When Megan's not wearing some artistically draped material the German premiere of the new Transformers film, or practising the fine art of silence (she's almost there), she's bleating about the first time she worked with (Transformers director) Michael Bay on Bad Boys II (she had the challenging role of "dancing" under a waterfall while rammed into a stars and stripes bikini - aged 15): "I got paid extra because I allowed them to pour water on me... I thought it was awesome. I was going to a Christian high school and I wasn't a feminist yet. I hadn't sat back and analyzed society. I was 15! I just did what I was told to do. My mom was with me! I was always ubersexual, so she wasn't shocked. I was always wearing the smallest clothes I could find. I would go to the mall like that - in a short, short skirt and a giant wedge heel. That's what you do when you're a teenage girl in a small town."

Further promoting her feminist views, Megan then talked about filming Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen with Lindsay Lohan, and had this to say regarding female relations: "We didn't get along, but were, like, 17, so of course we didn't get along. Girls are catty - they don't like each other."

I hope all burgeoning feminists are taking notes. To clarify, if you're from a small town, don the apparel of a street walker. Also, don't forget to treat any fellow females who dare cross your path with fervently unfounded disdain. Finally, as previously insinuated by Megan - if you find yourself totally alone, endear yourself to basic males by alluding to bisexual tendencies.

Now, on to the woman who was/wasn't phased about her teenage daughter becoming a sex object. One Darlene Tonachio. Of Megan landing a role in Transformers, Darlene said: "I knew that would bring her some attention. But I thought it would be with boys aged somewhere between 12 and 16. I didn't realise the age range would go from five-year-olds to 45-year-old men. It's totally surreal being the mom of an actress who is described as the next Angelina Jolie. I look at Megan as my baby girl... It's hard to believe that other people look at her in that way - as a sexpot."

Yeah, I mean, especially when your 15-year-old's film debut involved jiggling about in a soggy bikini while being doused by a deluge of water - it must be quite the shocker.

It's clear where Megan gets her feminist ideals from.