Apparently getting a red card due to a tussle with Manchester City's Tevez, and then giving Aguero (Maradona's son-in-law, in case you didn't know) a dead leg, and then attempting to head butt city's captain Kompany while being escourted off the field wasn't enough for QPR's Joey Barton.
If reading the previous paragraph was he visual equivalent of white noise, my apologies. You see, the fella's into the footie, therefore by osmosis, I'm - not exactly into the footie - but overexposed to it. Trust me. This is big news. And I'd like to thank Mike Sheridan (@ImMikeSheridan, he gets into the odd Twitter spat himself) for roaring across the office at me.
Back to the spat. Joey didn't like what Match of The Day pundit Alan Shearer had to say of his antics, so he's launched a tirad on Twitter. Most of it was like the musings of a particularly surly 14-year-old cheerleader. One choice segment went something like: "I have a better hair (which is not hard), wear well better shirts on TV and have a personality (something u lack)" Then he signed off with: "I really don't like that prick, in fact I honestly despise him... Goodnight."
Apologies, he also said: "I'd take it off Hansen and @GaryLineker but not from that bell, same fella that stamped on Neil Lennon, then threatened FA if they banned him."
So now Gary Lineker is involved, and this is how things are descending.
"Hear @Joey7Barton had a dig at Shearer. Is this an attempt, I wonder, to deflect from the obvious and deserved criticisms coming his way?"
Barton responded: "@GaryLineker no deflections here mate. Think the fact about 100m people seen it will see to that. Just don't like how he gets personal..."
42 minutes ago, Linekar added: "@joey7barton Still raging then? Still kicking out? And still, presumably, misunderstood? But only by yourself I suspect."
And then Barton kneed some of his toys out of the cot by insinuating that Gary has some skeletons lurking about his fitted wardrobes. I know, how strange for someone involved in football to have secrets... and all we thought he had in there were super shiny grey suits and a couple of packets of Walkers.
"@GaryLineker do u wanna go there publicly "Mr Squeaky Clean" ? Think u should have a look in that vast closet of skeltons before u respond... I know a lot about THAT side to u the people don't and won't bat an eye lid at exposing u. So mind ur manners Squeaky... now back under your stone you odious little toad..."
Gary's yet to respond to Joey's thesaurus aided handbag backlash. The latter is currently blathering on about listening to The Smiths 'cause he has no mates. His words, not mine.