What happened to the good ol' days of 90's rap when, if two rappers were in a quarrel, they'd have the decency to settle their ills like adults by shooting each other?  It's all become so sanitised these days, so much so that I'm sure it'll soon be off limits to talk negatively about a rival's mother. I don't know about you, but that's a world I don't want to live in.

It seems to me that the majority of rap and hip-hop these days centres around people who like to sing about just exactly how rich they are, how much the ladies seem to like them and espousing a particular fondness for expensive brands of champagne. Ice Cube, one of the baddest (that means "best" in rap lingo, work with me people) rap vocalists of the 90's, now has the tough guy attitude and street cred of Gary Coleman. POST Diff'rent Strokes.

To illustrate how strange (albeit hilarious) the rap scene in 2009 has become, allow me to tell you a story. 50 Cent's beef with Miami-based rapper Rick Ro$$ has intensified. And how!

50 Cent has apparently somehow obtained a homemade sex tape starring Ro$$. We've been told that Fiddy plans to post this on his website. And, wait for it, he'll be providing voice-over on it! Biggie vs 2Pac this certainly is not.

The feud between the two currency-obsessed singers has thus far included animated videos, radio station disses and, awesomely, a video that 50 Cent made featuring him taking Ro$$'s ladyfriend clothes shopping. What's next, prank phone calls?

"Hey Rick....*laughs*. Rick, is that you? This is....your....bank manager. I'm calling to say *laughs* that you are broke. Yeah, that's right, broke. So you might want to sell your things *laughs*."

-John Balfe

(Sheena McGinley is away)