Well, I didn't think you could get any snazzier than last week's Fair City cover. No seriously, it featured Paul flanked by Nicola and Niamh, dressed to the nines and superimposed against an atmospheric backdrop of the Dublin skyline (flat, a few lights). But this week, you've TRULY surpassed yourself and come over all Vanity Fair. The caption reads: 'Welcome to TV Heaven'. Then there's more on the other side (it's one of those fancy fold-out covers) saying "... the hottest stars, the biggest shows, the must-see dramas, the returning favourites and all the new faces." Said faces, in case you can't make them out here, are as follows:
Kathryn Thomas is sporting a lovely ring, new brunette locks and a slack-jaw uberpout. She's using PatKenny's knee as some kind've arm prop, which is fitting. Grainne Seoige looks at little wide-eyed and apprehensive about being there (which is strange considering she's in the midst of taking over the station), unlike her sister Sile who looks like she's open for business. Not a bad word can be said about Charlene McKenna (she's starring in a new drama called Whistleblowers), while BrendanCourtney's expression simply says "Ye startin'?" Akin to a car salesmen who's been given the runaround one too many times. The lady with the blonde bob is, upon closer inspection, someone called Sonya Lennon (my eyesight's so shoddy I initially believed it to be Laura Woods. Apologies, Laura). Sonya is starring in something called BitterSweet and also looks open for business, but in a more Moulin Rouge/May West kind've way. TheClinic's Leigh Arnold looks sublime, if a little startled and stiff, and Aidan Power looks on the brink of a wink - which is how we like him.
So, well played RTE Guide, you managed to highlight what it is to be Irish - no matter how hard we try, we can never collectively quite pull off 'sophisticule'.
