As Ireland continues to be battered by Storm Desmond, the new trend of naming storms has given us all a chance to really personalise the weather in a way we haven't been able to before.

"Oh, it's that feckin' Desmond outside there" is something that's probably been mentioned by your 'oul lad at some point today or yesterday, but exactly how does Met Eireann go about naming these storms? Is it a random lottery, perhaps?

Maybe they choose people they know and go from there? While we're huddled down, waiting for this thing to blow over, we've come up with a few possible names for the next big storm to hit Ireland.



Named after Vincent Browne, Storm Vincent sweeps in from Limerick and lays waste to specific areas of Ireland. Usually Fine Gael's party headquarters and fancy houses in Killiney.



Storm Enya is a portentous storm, bringing with it the ancient gods of Ireland and a crisp sheet of fog over the hills of Tara. It is said that when Storm Enya makes landfall on Ireland, an angelic voice can be heard on the wind, making people go out and buy Enya's new album.



This weather front barrels its way across Ireland and heads towards England and makes shit of France's defences. A mighty, proud storm that knows no comparison.



Mostly full of hot air, Storm George was previously known to circulate around Donnybrook before Storm Matt came in to replace him.



Originating in Germany, Storm Angela sweeps across the European Union before it decides to get involved in Irish affairs.



Storm Jim is actually a false-flag operation created by the New World Order to cause as much havoc as possible for Ireland so that Halliburton can move in and rebuild. Also, aliens.



The beginnings of Storm Bertie are usually quite pleasant and rose-tinted, however when the weather begins to change, Storm Bertie makes it way to sunnier climates while its predecessor, Storm Cowen flies in from Laois and wrecks the place before, likewise, heading off into the sunset.



Storm Ray was known for its ability to get huffy, but when televised, it dissipates quickly. Usually sighted around Kildare. Expected to be gone by the spring.