And there we were being lead to believe that Timmy Mallet was going to be the pain in the hoop. It turns out that David Van Day is not just an ex-member of 80s duo Dollar, he's also a princess in his ample spare time.
He had a hissy fit when the other campers didn't part with any luxury items so himself and Timmy could be freed or have a meal. When they were allowed leave their cages and told there were two extra beds in a nearby cave, Ray Liotta in a (thinning) blonde wig (himself, Mickey, and Geeeeoooorrggeeeah should have some kind've Friar Tuck-a-like competition) refused to go check out the new digs. Instead, he tried finding out who was upping sticks so be could swoop into their sleeping pit. When a 68-year-old woman says she'll give up her bed to go sleep in a cave with Timmy Mallet, you should just surrender yourself. To be fair, David did (supposedly only for one night as he's "scared of the dark") and, to his pleasure, found the cave to be the most hospitable environment he'd encountered in at least a day.
The new fodder ingratiated themselves to their fellow contestants further by refusing to be added to the dunny cleaning rota (David) and cackled inappropriately when Kilroy-Silk bravely endured 12 manky gym themed stunts in last night's live Bushtucker Trial (Timmy). While we're touching on the subject; was anyone else slightly turned on by Robert's dogged determination? Just me... *hangs head in shame*
Finally, here's today's daily breast-related update. According to The Sun, "Bushtucker Trials deviser chief Chris Lore said he had come up with several new wet tasks and urged viewers to vote for size 32G Nicola, 25, to do them". Lore said: "I'm hoping that the public will send her down for a very wet trial. That couldn't be a bad thing at the end of the day. We've got plenty of people willing to strap her boobs in." Meanwhile, Esther came across with this handy hint: "If you could offer a treat - packets of crisps in every flavour. You'll get the young ones stripping off for crisps." But what would it take for you to disrobe, Esther? A fine wine? Or perhaps a cheese plate larger than your average saucer (honestly, they were teased with that little pithy yoke from Gemma Atkinson. It was about the size of a Wagonwheel, AND it was mostly crackers).
There you have it, if you can get your hands on a plane ticket and a means to airdrop an assortment of Walkers into the camp, you're in for a saucy treat of your own. I bet Paul's taken a hammer to the piggy bank already.
