There's a part of our brains that allows us to categorize images we see and associate them with other memories and events, sort of like a word association game. For instance, you see a paparazzi picture of Madonna emerging from a taxi and the words "this woman isn't crazy at all, seriously" and "what the hell is with her arms?" zoom to the front of your brain in a sort of whimsical, sarcastic rush. This is basically the only skill required to be an editor for Heat Magazine. Also, if you're anything like me, your brain triggers a gag reflex every time you hear that awful "Love Is Noise" song by The Verve. A noble objection to bad music, if slightly impractical seeing as I seem to hear that song at every branch of Golden Discs that I visit. Complicated things those brains, what with their cortexes and cerebellums and all that.

Anyway, allow me to get to the point of this. Actor Verne Troyer visited Dublin recently for an appearance on the Podge and Rodge Show and, upon reading his name, you immediately pulled an image of him waddling around as Mini Me in the Austin Powers movies from the archives in your head. Well that picture you have in your head is in serious danger of being usurped should you ever have the misfortune of seeing Troyer in his latest release - a homemade sex tape. The tape, featuring the diminutive Troyer and ex-girlfriend Ranae Shrider, was apparently "stolen" from him and has now made it to the internet where it can be viewed for the modest price of $9.95, which is just a drop in the ocean compared to the costs rendered by the inevitable psychiatric attention you will one day require.