In short, his two daughters should be canonised. There was the burger fuelled carpet munching incident which hit the net two years ago, which young Taylor Ann taped so daddy could survey his magnificence at a later date. Some might find it amusing to watch Michael "Mega Moobs Mitch" Knight snuffle for meaty treats on plush flooring, but that could not have been easy for his daughter to witness. Something which will no doubt flash across her mind when she meets her maker. And the fact she taped it obviously denotes the regularity of such a decrepit display (in fact, some say David requested his daughters to chronicle his inebriated movements, which isn't at all selfish/potentially scarring).

David's managed not to piddle himself in public (most notably while riding a wheelchair across a crowded airport) for nigh two years. He's been too busy with America's Got Talent, and propelling his long suffering daughters into the spotlight despite distinctly average singing abilities. That is, until now.

According to The Sun: "David Hasselhoff was saved by his daughter when he collapsed with suspected alcohol poisoning. Hayley, 16, found the alcoholic star at his home and kept slapping his face to keep him from drifting away, fearing he was going to die. She called his ex-wife Pamela Bach who rushed him to hospital where a source said he was 'barely breathing' on arrival on Saturday. The source added: 'Pam was at his bedside till 4am. This is about the seventh time he's been taken to a hospital over the last few years with alcohol poisoning. How many visits will it take before he dies?" Eh, how many more times before he loses sole custody of his kids?! Then again, Pamela's a reputed drug addict, so Taylor Ann and Hayley are probably better off getting their own gaff together and hugging each other often.

TMZ, however, are claiming that Pamela has wildly exaggerated her findings: "We've (AKA about 30 of their team of 40 people) gotten to the bottom of the David Hasselhoff mystery, and it ain't the way his ex is painting it. Here's what we know. This past Saturday, David was at home with his daughter Hayley and there was a squabble. David had been drinking but nowhere near the level that his ex is painting it. The Hoff had not been feeling well, and the illness, combined with the alcohol, made a trip to the hospital prudent. David walked to the car, where he was driven to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. He had not passed out, contrary to reports. He walked on his own power and was released yesterday. Hasselhoff is fine, though he regrets drinking. Bottom line - David's ex, Pamela Bach, is on the warpath and her story just doesn't ring true."

Correction; bottom line is David and Pamela have two kids they barely give two hoots about.