D'you know what? I'm really looking forward to that unofficial biography Andrew Morton has written about Tom Cruise. You know Andrew Morton; he penned that expose on Princess Diana after she died? Yeah, seemingly he was forced into hiding by scientologists due to the book's content. I KNOW! Maybe it'll provide some concrete evidence if he's… Sorry, what was that? It's only going to be released in America? Um, why? Because it's too boring, you say... how very strange. Indeed dear readers, according to the Daily Mail; "Morton hasn't unearthed anything sensational about Cruise that would make the book a blockbuster." Why release it in the States then? Will they read any old dross? D'you know what? This is kind've reminds me of South Park for some reason, I can't think why.
