I feel for kids nowadays... fear mostly, as they're the ones that'll be tending to me in my dotage. But there's also a bit of sorrow there regarding the pool of role models they have to choose from.

For example, if I were asked in school who would be my ideal teacher, the list would've been a stellar gathering of wit, talent and rugged good looks, including Remington Steele, Lynda Carter, Michael Landon, Jimmy Savile, Lindsay Wagner, Poncherello, Philip off Bosco, Mary Fitzgerald, Julian off The Famous Five, Maddie Hayes, Aunt Sally...

According to "children’s trading website Swapit.co.uk"... here's what 2,000 of today's youngsters have gone with:

1. Cheryl Cole
2. David Tennant
3. Miley Cyrus
4. David Beckham
5. Stephen Gerrard
6. Wayne Rooney
7. Katie Price
8. Aston Merrygold
9. Stephen Fry
10. Peter Andre

Stephen Fry is in there *mops brow*. OH DEAR JESUS HE'S ONLY AT NUMBER NINE. But he's aheady of Andre *rocks self* Thank God for miniscule mercies.