OK, there's only one way to settle this - and it either involves oiled up bare knuckle boxing or a charm off where they both get to serve me hot beverages while engaging in a tuxedo themed fashion show.
Christian Bale has blasted George Clooney for "whining" about press intrusion. Yep, we've got those names the right way around, 'cause it does indeed sound like something Clooney would say about Bale.
The best Batman to date (sorry, Mr. Keaton) has hit out at arguably the most rubbish Batman ever - who married lawyer Amal Alamuddin in Venice in September - for making "boring" complaints about being hounded by paparazzi. Christian believes that people in the public eye should just get on with their lives and ignore the extra attention.
He said: "It doesn't matter that he talks about it. It's like, 'Come on, guys, just shut up. Just get on with it and live your lives and stop whining about it.' I prefer not to whine about it."
While the 40-year-old star - who has a nine-year-old daughter and three-month-old son with wife Sibi Blazic - is renowned for his hot temper, he always tries not to get into confrontations with photographers, even if they deliberately try to provoke a reaction and "kill" his "humanity and dignity" with their remarks. Now, just to be clear, that's not "whining", that's just Bale recounting his own personal experience with paps.
He recalled in an interview with The Wall Street Journal magazine: "I was in Italy with my wife. I would go to work; she would leave the hotel. There would be a man who stood outside and say the most obscene things imaginable to my wife... I know what he's after; he has a strategy there. Am I able to say I'm not gonna give him that satisfaction of 'angry Christian Bale' coming after this man? But equally, he's killing my humanity and my dignity as a husband if I do not, and he knows this. So you've got a choice."
And, on this occasion, Christian Bale has not chosen to go batsh*t (apologies) crazy when it is entirely warranted *coughsTerminatorSalvationcrazyonsetrant*